I Thought I Would Be Battling My Body for Life- Reflections on My Upcoming 25th High School Reunion

This weekend is my 25th High School reunion. I am excited to see old friends and catch up. I have lots of great memories from High School, but lots of sad ones as well.

 

Looking back I realize how much time and energy I wasted. Instead of focusing on my school work, I spent far too may hours obsessing over the size of my thighs. I hated my body and treated myself terribly. I thought I was fat, I thought I was ugly, I thought I was stupid.

 

I binged and purged my way through junior and senior year. I stole laxatives. I did the Jane Fonda Workout over and over, often at 3:00 in the morning to punish myself for eating.

 

I broke up with my High School boyfriend who I adored right before my prom because I could not handle the thought of him seeing me naked and I felt pressure to have sex. I remember seeing him having a blast with another girl while I cried in the distance. Looking back as an adult, my body hatred protected me from having sex when I was too young to handle it.

 

My dysfunctional relationship with food and my body did not end in High School. Despite overcoming bulimia, I kept dieting and continued to fight my body for over two decades. I honestly thought I would live this way for the rest of my life.

 

It has been a long journey for me, but I am so thrilled to be on the other side. Sometimes it shocks me that I no longer obsess over my weight, how many calories I burned in a day, and what I ate.

 

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties until I realized my body hatred might never end unless I made a choice. I did not want to still be dwelling on my weight in my 40s and beyond. I had wasted enough time already.

 

I reached out and got the support I needed. Learning how to really appreciate and listen to my body took time, but it has been an amazing gift I gave to myself. I feel so free.

 

When I think about going to my reunion, I feel deep gratitude that I no longer struggle with being trapped in a body I hate. I know for sure that if I did not make the choice to get support and to let go of the struggle, I would be facing my old friends with the same negative beliefs and behaviors I had 25 years ago.

 

Do you spend your days obsessing over what you don’t like about your body? Please know there is a way out. You do not need to live your life that way. Hating your body is such a waste of time and energy. You deserve to be healthy and feel amazing.

 

If you are tired of feeling stuck and are curious about how you can transform your relationship with your body & food and how to lose weight without the struggle, then I would love to support you on your journey.

 

I am opening up a few spaces for personal one-on-one coaching. I am passionate about empowering women to break free from food jail and learn to Befriend Their Body.

 

Contact me and I will be happy to set up a complimentary “Befriend Your Body Breakthough Session” so you can see if Health Coaching is right for you. I am only offering a limited number of spots so if this resonates with you reach out as soon as possible.

With love and support- Michelle

 

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