What if You Win the War with Your Body


When I was new to the coaching world I attended a training class where one of the mentor coaches asked a question that had a profound impact on me.


The question was “if you’re at war with your body and you win; who loses?”


I felt my jaw drop and my body shiver. It was huge WOW moment for me.  The question still has a powerful effect on me every time I think of it.


One of my biggest motivations for becoming a health coach was my turbulent relationship with food and my body. Like many women, I had spent decades of my life trying to “fix”, control, deprive and manipulate my body so it would finally be “good enough.”  My weapons of choice were nasty, bullying self-talk, diet pills, laxatives, over-exercising, and diet after diet which always led to bingeing and another round of dieting.


This question woke me up. What if I actually won the war with my body, who would lose?


I finally realized there would never be a winner in this scenario. If I won, my body would lose. And if my body won, I would lose. This endless war had no good positive outcome.


There had to be a better way. This was the first time I knew for sure that I needed to be on the same team as my body.  I needed to learn how to respect, listen, pay attention, nourish and appreciate my body.


Most of us start the war with our body with the intention of wanting to feel better about ourselves. We think once we reach our goal and finally look “good enough” the battle will be over and we will finally be at peace.


The fact is this isn’t true. We don’t get to our goals and finally feel at peace. When we engage in war against our bodies, we get more pain and suffering.  It’s an unsustainable path.


After I heard this question, I started to get curious about what would a healthy, sustainable, peaceful relationship with my body and food look like.


There is no one right answer. My answers have changed and evolved over time.


If you feel like you have been at war with your body, I invite you to ask yourself the same question:


What would a healthy, peaceful, sustainable relationship with your body and food look like?


When you ask the question, don’t expect to get the answer right away. I find the best answers come when we are patient and quiet. No need to worry about getting the perfect answer. Let it be playful and fun.


Ending the war is critical for our health and happiness.  If you want support in finding your answer, I’m here for you and would be honored to help you find a peaceful path.










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I cannot emphasize how much of a positive change happened in my life than when I first met Michelle. At the time I was underfed and over exercised unable to fathom why I couldn’t lose weight.

Layla San Martin